Find happiness without leaving your marriage by honoring your needs.
If you feel unhappy in your marriage because your wife or husband doesn’t appreciate you, pay attention to you, or meet your expectations of a spouse, it may be time to find your own happiness within the relationship.
We can go from relationship to relationship in search of the ideal partner only to find ourselves longing to have the same needs met. When we don’t love, appreciate and pay attention to ourselves, we give our power away trying to get this from others. Once we learn to honor our needs, our relationship blossoms.
If you are contemplating leaving your marriage because of unmet needs, explore the following suggestions as a way to nurture and nourish yourself before you make this decision. These insights may help you to save your marriage.
Identify what’s missing in the marriage. What is it you long for in your unhappy marriage? Do you want more connection, romance, appreciation? Write down the specific qualities that would bring you happiness and make you think twice about leaving your marriage.
Explore the essence of what’s missing. With each item you listed, dig deeper to see what this really represents. For example, if you long for connection, what’s important about this? Would it free you from loneliness? Do you want to be seen on a deeper soul level? Would it make you feel loved?
Brainstorm ways to give this to yourself. We can’t force others to behave in ways they are not inclined. If your husband doesn’t feel like connecting on a deeper level or your wife isn’t good with compliments, pressuring him or her to change will only create resentment in your relationship. But if you can find ways to meet your own needs, you will feel empowered and find happiness within your marriage. Here are some examples:
~ A desire for deeper connection in order to feel loved. Increase self-love by honoring your values, nurturing yourself, meditating on the essence of love, connecting to the God of your heart.
~ Wanting to feel appreciated. Validate yourself for accomplishments, let go of self-judgments, cherish your attractiveness, give more to yourself, appreciate life, show appreciation to others as a way to touch into the energy of appreciation.
~ The need for touch and tenderness. Go for regular massages, rub scented lotion onto your skin, snuggle with a pet, offer hugs and foot rubs to your partner.
As you discover what it is you really need and you explore ways to give this to yourself, you won’t need to leave your marriage in order to find happiness.
Do you have any questions or additional insights to share on how to find happiness without leaving your marriage? Please share below.
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I am wondering if there are ways to EASE into the self love and cherishing my own attractiveness. He Has broken my trust years ago, and the underlining issue, I just don’t trust anything he does. And I DONT know how to fix this. Ive tried to even believe that im okay with certain situations but im just not happy.
Hello Carolina,
Yes, there is a way to ease into self love and cherishing your attractiveness. If you look under the category of self-love on the left side column of the site (click on it and the articles will show up to scroll through) you will see a few articles on self love. From this place, cherishing your beauty will follow.
I find that when someone breaks our trust, it gives us an opportunity to develop our intuition around what we trust within us, not what someone else says or does. Then we know if we can trust this person again, even if they broke our trust before because we have our own inner knowing. From this place you will also know what you need for happiness and whether or not to stay in the relationship
Take care,
Gini