Forgive yourself for past mistakes and set yourself free.
Blaming yourself for something you did or didn’t do doesn’t help; it only causes more pain. Learning from mistakes and seeing the gift is how we heal and grow in life. We’ve each said something that stung another, done something that made us cringe, or didn’t do something that would have made a difference. Shaming and beating ourselves up keeps the pain alive and shuts us down. This prevents us from gleaning insights that might make us a better person down the road.
How to Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is a form of self-love. True forgiveness involves acceptance, compassion and understanding which allows us to release the pain from past mistakes.
Acceptance. Accepting yourself from a place of neutrality instead of judgment is essential. You can’t heal yourself if you are in resistance with what happened. Acceptance doesn’t mean you condone your behavior, just that you acknowledge its reality outside of a right/wrong or good/bad dichotomy. Touch into the feeling of self-acceptance by accepting yourself in this moment just as you are. Now reflect on your past mistake and accept that it is what it is. Blanket it with the feeling of acceptance by saying to yourself, “Even though I made this mistake, I accept myself.”
Compassion. To forgive yourself for past mistakes you need to have compassion for yourself. Look at the bigger picture of your life to see how anyone in your shoes might have done the same thing. See how your childhood wounds contributed to your beliefs, how your skill set and self-awareness at the time factored in, how the surrounding circumstances played a role. Know that you did the best you could in your situation.
Understanding. When you understand why things happened the way they did it becomes easier to forgive yourself for past mistakes. Often, painful experiences happen for the sole purpose of learning and growth. Others who are affected by your actions also have the rich opportunity to learn and grow. What did you learn as a result of this experience? What benefits came from these lessons? What did you discover about yourself? What strengthened in you, what softened, and in what ways are you a better person today because of what happened?
Feeling. Forgiveness is more than a concept; it’s a feeling or a state of being, the way peacefulness is a feeling state. The energy of forgiveness is very healing as it supports the release of judgments, blame and anything that doesn’t support your highest good. Tune into this feeling by imagining a beautiful rose out in front of you that is filled with the essence of forgiveness. See the softness in it, see the love, and then let your body match this feeling. Let this subtle vibration flow through your whole body, down into the cells. Let go into it and release any un-forgiveness you’ve been holding onto.
Acceptance, compassion and understanding are all aspects of forgiveness. You can heal any part of your life by being acceptant, compassionate and understanding with yourself and others. As you forgive, you release blame, judgment, and resentment, and you heal and free yourself completely.
Do you have any questions or insights on how to forgive yourself for past mistakes? Please share below.
thank you so much for all of your great posts on forgiveness and friendship – they have really helped me see past hurt in a new light
You’re so welcome Keelie. I’m glad they have helped you to touch into a new light.
Blessings,
Gini
Thank you for the excellent advice!
I read all of your posts. It made me feel worse. I look at my past mistakes, actions and thoughts. Nothing good as come for them for now.
Hello John,
I’m sorry to hear that reading this article hasn’t helped you to feel better about your past and forgive yourself. Sometimes it takes time to see the growth that results from past inappropriate actions. For example, feeling regret about a past behavior leads to taking healthier actions in the future so that is one way to look at your past.
It sounds like self-forgiveness is important to you though so can you forgive yourself even if you see nothing good has come from your past actions? Can you allow yourself to be a human being that makes mistakes like everyone else? That may be a starting place.
Take care,
Gini
Thank you so much for this. I went through some things in my past which caused me to hurt people later on. The compassion step has really helped me.
Thank you again!
Hello Tiggerbrave (I love that name),
I’m so glad you have been able to take a step with compassion towards forgiving yourself. We’ve all hurt people to one degree or another so it’s an important life lesson to have compassion and forgiveness for ourselves.
And keep in mind that those who have been hurt are also learning important life lessons (including forgiveness). I’ve come to the point with some people who have hurt me to feel gratitude for I wouldn’t have learned important lessons, healed and evolved without the uncomfortable experiences.
Take care,
Gini
I was just wondering, do you happen to have a book out with this article in it?
Hello rabbit lover (I love rabbits too),
I don’t have a book out with this article in it, but I do plan at some time to create an audio course on the energy state of forgiveness, just not sure when. I recall a book called Radical Forgiveness that may be available at an on-line store but I haven’t read it so can’t say if it is good or not (but I like the title).
All the best with your forgiveness,
Gini
Thanks for your website and this post. I recently lost my cat. She had lost the use of her back legs due to a blood clot and I decided to keep her going through the pain with love, attention, and medical treatment. One treatment was the administration of blood thinners to treat the clot and prevent new ones. She was making progress. After two weeks, the supply ran out and I was forced to purchase the medicine and fill the syringes on my own. The supplied syringes were different and not measured in the proper units. The first day of using these I made a tragic mistake and gave her too much without knowing so until she became anemic and was bleeding internally. I had to rush to the vet, but it was too late. I had to put her down. My cat had a lot of issues and might not have recovered, but I took that chance away through my mistake. I can’t seem to forgive myself for this. Please help.
Hello Andrew,
I know how hard it is to let go of thinking that you made a mistake around your cat – I’ve experienced that too with animals (“if I hadn’t of done that or did do this, then all might be well”), but I’ve come to learn that there are no real mistakes in life. Perhaps what happened with your cat was exactly what needed to happen to free her from her suffering and let her be free to go. The most important thing is that you loved her and did your best with your best intentions.
Something I found helpful when my dog died, and I kept thinking that maybe I did something wrong and could have saved her, was to touch into my heart and connect with her spirit. I felt a sense of love and joy from her which indicated she was fine now and was ready to go so I didn’t do anything ‘wrong’. If this type of thing fits for you, try connecting to the essence of your cat to find peace.
I think when we realize that death isn’t such a bad thing, because our essence lives on and goes on to other adventures, we see that all is well no matter what mistakes we think we are making, and forgivness becomes easier.
Take care,
Gini
thank you for your response