How to Feel Comfortable on a First Date

To feel comfortable on a first date, be yourself; be centered within your own self-affinity, joy and amusement.

Ah, the first date when tingles of excitement race through your body, palpitations flutter in your heart and questions flash through your mind: does he like me, does she find me attractive, did I say the right thing?

If we could just relax on that first date and be our authentic self, we’d have so much more fun and make a real connection. But concerns about image, appearance and making the right impression interfere with the natural dating process. How comfortable two people feel on a first date can determine whether it’s the last date or the beginning of a new relationship.

When one person is comfortable it helps the other person to relax into comfort. Here are several tips on how to feel comfortable on a first date so you can both enjoy getting to know each other.

Center within yourself. When excitement and nervousness blend together it can be a challenge to be grounded and centered. Feeling flighty, spacey, edgy and insecure can result. Consciously bringing your energy and awareness into your body can help you to stay centered and relaxed. While connecting with your date, keep part of your attention in your body – notice your breathing, physical sensations and emotions as they surface.

Repeat a positive mantra. If your mind takes over with worries, questions, or doubts, refocus your thoughts on something positive. Repeating a silent compliment to yourself will help you to remember your positive qualities. Create a mantra that feels good such as, “I am beautiful,” “I am funny,” or “I am safe,” and repeat it as often as needed.

Ask uplifting questions. To keep the energy light and enjoyable, don’t delve into heavy subjects on the first date such as “How dysfunctional is your family,” or “What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you?” Save those questions for future dates. On the first date, ask inspiring and uplifting questions such as, “What are you passionate about,” “What was your favorite vacation,” or “If money and time were no obstacle, what would you love to do?” This will not only energize your date, but will reveal deeper insights about your potential partner.

Be in a state of amusement. We all love to laugh, and laughter and amusement are one of the best antidotes to stress and tension. Set your intention to be light and amused. Rather than trying to be funny, simply being in a state of amusement where you don’t take life or this date too seriously. This will allow your sense of humor to surface naturally.

Bring your own love. Many people go on a first date hoping to find a life partner; a soul mate that will love them eternally. This puts a lot of pressure on the other person and on the date itself. When we remember that we are filled with love, whether we are in a romantic relationship or not, we let go of the need to find love through another. Before going out, take a few minutes do a meditation or visualization on love. Turn inward and connect with your heart and the love that emanates from within. Let this feeling of love flow through your whole body, down to the cells, and bring it with you on your first date.

Do something comfortable. Listen to your intuition about what activity you want to do on your first date. If hanging out in coffee shops isn’t your thing, suggest something that is. If you’ve never roller bladed, don’t agree to do that on your first encounter or you’re bound to feel awkward. If eating at home feels more comfortable than dining out, suggest that. Choose an activity and setting that feels natural and comfortable for you.

Finding ways to be yourself and connected to your joy and amusement during your first date will ensure you have an enjoyable time.

Do you have any questions or comments about how to feel comfortable on a first date? Please share below.

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Dear Readers,

I am not able to be on the computer much these days due to my current activities, so I won't be able to respond to comments very often.

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