Having closure when a friendship ends brings peace of mind.
Friends come and go in our lives. Some leave a lasting imprint on our hearts while others leave a bitter taste in our mouth. Regardless of the reasons why a friendship has ended – due to betrayal, drifting apart, or a misunderstanding – it helps to have closure in order to move on.
Until we understand what really happened, or can communicate our differences and find forgiveness, an irritation nags within, reminding us it’s not over yet. Here are several suggestions to explore as a way to have closure when a friendship ends.
Be honest with yourself. If your friend suddenly ended your friendship or you drifted apart for unknown reasons, you might feel offended or slighted as though your friend is judging you. Relationships take the investment of time, commitment and energy of two people. Be honest with yourself and explore if on some level you wanted the friendship to end. When two people are no longer a fit, the relationship has to come to an end or both people suffer. This awareness may set you free.
Take responsibility for your part. When a friendship is over but doesn’t feel complete, it may be because you haven’t owned your part in the ending. It’s easy to blame another for what they did or didn’t do, but it’s more challenging to face yourself and look at what you contributed to the mix. As you take responsibility (from a place of compassion and self-forgiveness) for anything you might have done or said that triggered your friend or added to the chain of events, you will see the whole picture and feel complete.
Write a letter to your friend. Perhaps you’ve been honest with yourself and owned your part but you still feel incomplete, as though the end of a story was cut from the page. Writing a letter can help you to gain clarity and release what you need to say. Start with a draft letter so you can pour your heart and feelings out uncensored. Let this stir within you for a day and then do another draft. Continue with this process until you are clear about what you want to communicate (and can do it from a non-blaming way). At this point you may feel complete and not need to send the letter, or you may want to talk to the friend in person, or send the letter – listen to your intuition.
Have a soul to soul communication. It isn’t always appropriate to send a letter or talk to a friend about why the friendship ended. If this is the case, you can still communicate with them on a higher, spiritual level. Within each person is a spiritual being that sees and knows the bigger picture beyond what the mind and body can understand. Take some time to turn inward and center within your spiritual self. Imagine your friend is sitting or standing a few feet in front of you. From your heart and soul, tell them how you feel. Then listen to or sense their response. Continue with this until you feel complete and then let them go.
Make an energetic separation. When we come together with another person, our energies mix together. If we don’t have clear energetic boundaries, we may take on too much of their energy or give ours away. Once the friendship is over, we may still have our energy in their space and theirs in ours. To make an energy separation, turn inward and connect to your spiritual self. Intentionally call back all of your energy out of your friend’s space and bring it back into your own. Release your friend’s energy out of your space and send it lovingly back to them.
I hope these suggestions help you to gain clarity, find forgiveness, and end your friendship peacefully so you can move forward easily.
If you have any questions or additional insights on how to have closure when a friendship ends, please share below.